Archive for November, 2005

POD, PJOR, commies and BCCI

I have just begun reading Prophet of Doom by Craig Winn, I must say if Islam bashers need any source…here is one…This book I am told is banned in India. Well, so was the Santanic Verses, but these books are readily available if one would look for it. It is advisable that if one would like something banned then it be done with the least publicity. India was one of the first nations to ban the Santanic verses. However the publicity it generated early got many in the country to source a copy for themselves. I have seen people in Bangalore, with hard bound editions, proudly display it to me. I have never had the urge to read its contents though.


POD has no literary style and the contents of the book are highly debatable. Not being an Islamic scholar and with limited knowledge of The Quran, Sira, Hadith, I rest my judgments. I am currently reading two books at one go…POD and 25 years of P.J.O’Rourke.


POD deals with Islam’s terrorist dogma in Prophet Mohammed’s own words…and highlights the reasons for the violence it perpetrates while 25 years of P.J has a collection of his previously unpublished works…which of course is hilarious!


Sample this…P.J writes on the virtues of automobiles… “…We are told that cars should be replaced with mass transportation. But it’s hard to reach the drive through window at McDonald’s from a speeding train. And we’re told cars cause pollution. A hundred years ago city streets were ankle deep in horse excrement. What kind of pollution do u want? Would you rather die of cancer at eighty or typhoid fever at nine?”


It’s riotous humour… I particularly enjoyed the Boxer shorts rebellion –An exclusive look at sex behind the bamboo curtain. That’s a fictitious take of his visit to communist china with Nixon.


Back home, we are poor loosers and kolkatta mush be its champions…The red state must learn and learn very quickly. Public display of anger at eden gardens the other day was a big shame…I’m embarrassed. I was expecting some kind of a showdown to take place when team India went there…I presume with all the security nothing grave happened. The press however went ballistics with Chappell’s finger salute. It’s a shame and must be condoned very strongly if he did it however I doubt if all the stories being published really hold water and I doubt if the coach would have done it at all or even intended it as a rebuke.


Public anger against a team for its poor performance is justifiable. But why is Kolkatta over reacting. The nation never booed at Ganguly when he failed continuously. I doubt if he would be booed at again if he fails against Srilanka – which again is highly likely. Why then a highly literate state and a fine venue as Eden Gardens always display seething anger and negative sentiments. I am ashamed. I have never really forgiven the Eden gardens crowd for their public display of anger when India played the world cup match against Srilanka and finished the game to an empty stadium. I still believe the pitch was doctored then as it was now…was the intention the same as were the results…arguable.


Mumbai would be another story. The score line would read 2-2 by tomorrow evening. I cannot see it happening any other way. If eden gardens had grass Mumbai would take vicious turn. The public spat within BCCI is dreadfully shameful while the spectators painfully ignorant of the events being played out with their hard earned money. Bring some sanity to the game BCCI…What a pity you are…you let gambling and illegal betting rule the game for ages, till you couldn’t stay away without getting some muck on your face…all the while making tons of money…and now you take the decay creeping in your roots to another level and sling slime at each other in the guise of a preparing a resurgent Indian team. I shudder at the mere thought of you taking away whatever charm there is left of the game and sully the victories of team which so rarely comes by it’s way. Pray, God help Indian cricket and all those who aspire to be a part of it.



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An Invitation

I am really cheesed off as I begin this blog…the sandwich wud taste real bitter ( pukey wuda bn the rite word) if u tried hogging on it…Had typed the entire blog for the day and bang something happens…machine hangs…I begin to wonder if qumana is really a good bet…coz it cudnt recover the 1000+worded draft I had typed…so it wud be the humble MS word to the rescue…? Dang…


Woke up as usual…did some reading…came out to fetch the newspaper…pretty late it was – had looked for the paper earlier at 7 it hadn’t come then. It was 9 when I finally decided id check it out again. Looked up and there across the street was Meena.


Meena is our neighbour, stays across the street and  has a 20 year old son. They are a family of three. She is a very pretty lady with a great smile. Had met her when she had come home on Diwali night to invite us to her house for some prayers they were organizing.


So here I was outside fetching the paper. I saw Meena and stood there. She caught me standing there and think waited for me to do/say something…mebbe raise my hand and wave out…No. I didn’t. I was shy perhaps. What she did next surprised me. She saw me standing there, so she raised her hand and waved. Then she pulled her hand back and asked me to come over to her place. I was stunned perhaps, so I waved back and did the –give-me-some-time sign.


I rushed in and had a shower and in 20 minutes I was out and going to her place. Bet she would have wondered what happened to me for those 20 minutes. Little did she know that I was excited wanting to talk to someone…really…it’s been quite boring actually these last couple of months inBangalore.


Ok so there I was crossing the road looking as presentable as I possibly could in the 20 minutes I had…I met Prem, Meena’s son as I reached the gate. I hadn’t met him before but Meena had mentioned him that Diwali night. Prem manages their liquor store on the new BEL road. It’s a good store, had visited it with Anchit when he wanted some Breezers…


Meena’s hubby was just leaving their apartment when I amble across. I don’t know his name…but he manages another liquor store of theirs near sanki tank.


I said hello to him and Meena and went inside…She did have a lovely smile…Her red painted lips did look good with her colourful red saree… I was in a mood to flirt. Flirt in a good sense without having any naughty thoughts…naaah…she was a sweet lady for such thots  to come to my mind.


They’ve moved into the house as tenants she was telling me. It’s been about three months now that they moved in.


“Beti kaisi hai?” (How’s you daughter). I heard her ask.

Phat I was knocked back…I knew she was talking to me coz there was no one else there.

“That’s my brother’s daughter.” I heard myself mumble.

“Oh!” she said sounding really surprised.

She must have started to wonder as I did…how and when did she get the equations of the house wrong.

“Tea?” she asked. “No” I said quickly hoping to buy some time and recollect thoughts.

“I’ll get you some”. she said and went inside

She must’ve been really embarrassed I thought to myself

But hey, what the heck.

She came back with half a cup of very strong tea. It tasted real good even to a coffee lover pretending to like tea in embarrassing circumstances.

I slurped slowly…but the tea seemed to empty real quick. Lol, yeah.

“So, Bangalore kaisa hai?”

Bangalore waisa hi hai…I thot.

“Achcha hai” I heard myself say…

“Business shuroo hua?” Damn she, remembered that…but didn’t remember how I had made the equation of the house clear to her when she had come over that night. Her arrival had surprised me and tittax when we saw her at the door that night. I remember coming down real quick…Even in the dark she had looked very pretty.


Anuja had opened the door that night and exchanged pleasantries when I joined the conversation. Tittu had not come into the room then. After the initial exchange Anuja went into the kitchen. I had sat on a chair next to Meena and Antra stood besides me. Anuja came a little while later and sat on the Diwan ( I think) Tittu entered a little while later… well possible reasons why she got the equations wrong then. But I remember very clearly having told her that Antra was their daughter…Mebbe my Hindi was not very good.


“Business shurro nahin hua hai abhi tak…Ab Bhi Jagah dekh raha hai. Jaldi shuro ho jayega” I said.

Realising that I was alone at their house and that she had called me there to her place thinking I was tittu or something made me a lil embarassed. I was telling myself I shouldn’t be staying there any longer. Not that I felt unwanted there anymore…Like I said she was a sweet lady. I bet she is still.


I stood up to go back home…Had some work to be done before the match started.

“Achca. I shall be taking leave.” I told her.

She smiled and said “Bhabhi ko kabhi kabhi idhar aane ko bolna.”

I smiled back shaking my head.

“Achcha mein chaltha hoon…” I said stepping outside.

“Teekh hai Bhaiyya. Phir milenge” She said

I looked up and watched her smile…that beautiful smile…as that sinking feeling slowly creeped in on me…





They started grinding the floor today. They hadn’t done anything yesterday. The machine came only at 5pm yesterday…Nagappa told me. I had a feeling the neighbours had objected to the noise from the grinding. I felt so coz the neighbours weren’t there today. The living room was being done…It seemed alrite. The pointing of the marbles was neat. I was still not too happy with the skirtings. Told Nagappa again. They had a few blocks of the marble kept in the car park. I think they didn’t want to cut them for the skirting. I understood.


The cracks on the wall…some of it was becoz of the lime cracking up. They use lime in Karnataka…in most other states they used putti or paint. They had used too much of lime which was why it had cracked. My creating the ruckus last time had worked actually. The excess lime from the wall was scrapped off.. Yeah the cracks weren’t visible. Except the big and deeper cracks on the joints and else where. I asked Nagappa for what sealant he is using – he said the sealant had come but he didn’t know which brand. I was pissed off but I didn’t show.


Called tittu and told him to tell Nazir to put a 5 amps 3 pin plug point in the bed room. He said he will. I told him there was no cracking up required. I doubt it would be done…anyways….


Yesterday…got a message from Pravina…chatted up with her for a while…Pravina was a junior at school – S.B.O.A Anna Nagar Chennai. She got my name from the names database. It was fun chatting up with her. She lives in Chennai with her hubby. I think I was driving her nuts by being ambiguous… for a change…


Sample this yahoo chat


Pravina: why are u still single?

Me       : because I didn’t marry.


Possible reason why she said I was driving her up the wall. Told her I couldn’t drive her up any wall. She would have to do it herself. I could only type…:)


It was a good conversation – though I didn’t figure out why she sounded cheesed off becoz she thot I was trying to save her pic onto my computer. I thot mebbe girls wud be happy some1 even thot of keeping their pic. I didn’t try to save any pic of hers actually. I dunno if yahoo says ur saving a picture if you click on the pic. I clicked on the pic to enlarge the pic. I dunno never did try to save her pic although she looked pretty…I didn’t see her well coz the conversation moved to why did you try to save my pic and me defending saying that I didn’t…neways that was areally dull part of that conversation.


I don’t recollect ever having seen anyone like her…in school. I mean – I don’t recollect her name at all. She said she remembered my name… Obviously…I was popular for all the wrong reasons…I think she liked it when I said that…but dunno if she cared…lol. Tittu also studied in the same school and he must have been only mebbe a year or two her senior. I was like 4 years her senior… and she said she remembered my name…Man was I that notorious…I must have been…I am smiling as I think about it…hehehe


So there goes…Pravina stays with Hubby  ( She says they call him Sheikh) in Anna Nagar…Spoke to her hubby today…seemed a nice guy works for TATA Tele…. More about Anna Nagar where I too lived some other day…


A good day actually…was fun.


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An evening with Frenchie

Finally last evening was eventful after a lull of…what… 4 days?? It started of as it has always been these last couple of weeks… very slow…Woke up early as usual 4 am….(weird time… yeah i have heard that before…lol:). Well after i quit smoking and drinking…I ve been doing that 3 years now…quite a feat…lol…( waking up early I mean). The newspapers were dull again…It was all about Lallu’s loss rather than Nitish’s stunning victory…. I am not a big fan of the saffron brigade but, I sincerely hope we get to see some development happening there…15 years is darn too long for Lanterns in a state of a developing nation.Nithish remarked ” I have a huge task at hand”. Oh! Mr. Nitish Its not Huge…u put it so lightly…its a MONUMENTAL task u have at hand. I know you have a lot of intelligent people in Bihar…mebbe Lallu projected the lower strata most of the time…Go Nitish show us what u can do Good luck..I think u will needs lost of it…oh! yeah, lets see…I would like you to do the following.
Could you get some proper medical facilities organized in your state.? The roads of course… I will always remember the picture on the cover of India today some years ago…The bullock cart on a muddy road…with a sick person being taken to the “hospital” or some place like that. man I sure would not like to see that… I was so embarrassed…. Why should I be….? tell me I do not live in the same country which carries sick people on a bullock cart….!!!!
I’ve never lived in Bihar…but this is a mandate some one should make good use of. Bihar has a lot of money…some of the richest people come from there…I recollect what Sudhakar told me in college Bihar once had the largest number of privately owned aircraft’s in the country. Man was that something…the rest of the country would be happy with a car.


Am also glad Priya Dutt won the Mumbai Northwest loksabha Seat.

So Dada is back in the team…C’mon guys give him a break…Let him go out gracefully…For God’s sake he was the captain of the country….It’s another matter that he refuses to resign…or lets be fair here- retire. You are 33 Mr.Ganguly and ur not one of the fittest anymore or anywhere near it…My ex girlfriend could run faster than you dude…Yeah O.K O.k she never wore any padding. That gives you an edge eh!. So in 2007 you would be 25…no… 35 when the average age of the team is on 25-26???. Damn Dada face it – ur old – unless u could score runs…ur ass is on the line…. coming to think of it why would they call u DADA…I have a Dada in my family and he is pushing 85 ( Bless Him). So much for age, I thought mebbe they got Dada named for the test squad just before the kolkota one dayer…to prevent that bangla Backlash…on Friday at Kolkatta for the 4th One Dayer. I recollect what happened to Gavaskar at Culcutta when Kapil was dropped in the 80’s. So Ganguly or Dada wotever, save ur own ass…getting the newspapers to write an emotional piece on you would Uri daughter Sana..does not do the trick for me….I am more upset that Dinesh Karthick couldn’t find a place in the team. Imagine, that poor chap…he played well in tests and you score a laboured test 100 against whom…Zimbabwe…that u call ur shot for being in the team…Come on Dada u could do betther than that. Well, its your funeral…perform or perish. You would loose one fan in me if you dont…and i wouldnt be the only one not willing to watch you.

Went to the flat this morning….those jerks havent been polishing the marble floor for the last 2 days…Was really pissed off…I could never take such lethargy…not with my money…Spoke to tittu about it …he called up Nazir who called me up and told me that there was some technical problem with the machine…I didnt buy it. He told me that he would start work today. I would be really pissed if he doesnt. Spoke to Nagappa the local guy there. Told him i was not happy the way they have placed the skirtings – Damn these are professional bulders, how cud they be so careless…I took off on him…mebbe he was expecting it…I told him to relay the skirtings again with the grains running even…Lets hope he has some marble left. The flooring is also uneven – which of course would be evened out after grinding and polishing.Tittu was adamant that he wanted a Marble flooring…i didnt push him at all…but how could he…it so cold in bangalore…well anyways. But i have made it a point…i wont let him make mistakes. I was also not happy with the wiring. They used some Vijay cables – never heard of them before – it didnt even have ISI markings on them. Told Nagappa to tell me today what he planned to do for all that i told him yesterday. The walls also had cracks on them – I guess it was not “cured” properly. The living room has a big crack on the wall, the masterbedroom also had some cracks on the walls… Surely tittu did not push hard with the contractors…Nagappa told me that they would be using fillers for the cracks…let me see what they would be uisng….Must tell tittu not to take these flaws lightly.. I think he was pissed off when i pointed them out, in the first place, when i went to the flat earlier with him. That got him worried too…man he had missed all of it…mebbe he thot those guys would do a good job.Well neways all is not lost I am going to take their pants off… if they dont rectify the flaws.

Finally Frenchie called…said we’d meet up in the evening…and we did…It was raining…so took the car. Sharief looked a lil cheesed off having had to come in the rains…but what the heck he didnt have to come for two days…Frenchie came in about 20 minutes after i reached his house in Indira Nagar…man his flat was messy. But then thats how eccentric guys are i thot… He later told me that the cleaning lady comes only on weekeneds…Thats when he would be “setting up” up the place…. I didnt have trouble finding the place… Frenchie is good and very clear at giving directions…He thot we would be staying at his place for the evening… I told him i didnt want to watch him drink… Took some pictures of some work he did in his spare time… It looked stunning… he said he never has time anymore to work on art seriously…which is sad…He had talent… I could see that…This is the pic.
I told him to design a business card for me… for a moment i thot i saw his eyes light up…He then said yes, “provided I give him life long free meals at my restaurant”.
“Hey thats no problem” i said…” but what if i open a coffee shop…you dont drink coffee” we laughed…. But i guess he has taken up on my offer… Later he asked me what i had in mind for the card I told him id let him know. We talked about the business i was planning…
“A restauramt” I lied
“Ah! you never told me that before” he said
” I Havent finalised the project yet.It all depends on the location…Bangalore is frigging expensive”
“Yeah”, He agreed ” mebbe you should meet a classmate of mine. He is in this business. He could help you. His name is John Ignatius” Frenchie said.”
Yeah I know him. He was once my boss” Frenchie nodded.
” So what is the restaurant that he owns” I asked He rolled his eyes up thinking. As he was thinking i said “come lets get out… “”Where do you want to go he asked…”
“Anywhere lets get out of here”
” Id like some good steak” he said…
” Fine with me as long as they have vegetarian for me…” He loooked puzzled.
“Yeah they do”
The drive was short we decided to go to “100ft” a boutique restaurant located on 100ft road in Indira nagar. I rememebr tittu showing the restaurant to me once. Gave sharief 100 bucks and told him to go have dinner and call me when he was back.
The restaurant for classy with a groundfloor having lot of art and couture stuff. I saw an ashtry which was particularly interesting. here it is V
Its shaped like an Indian closet…very trendy. Frenchie brought one for himself later yesterday.


We had for starters
Spinach and Potato Kibbe —- Excellent
Cottage cheese ( Paneer Shaslik)—– Good

Main Course
Cannelloni——– Very Good
Spaghetti Bolognaise———- He said it was delicious

Kingfisher beer————- Well done frenchie
Fresh Lime soda————- They didnt have any fresh juices…unbelievable!!!!!

100 ft is a classy and expensive boutique restaurant. The waiters, they (old guys frenchie said) were very friendly smart and knowledgeable.

The ambience was very good…Somehow i thot mebbe it would have been better to sit in the courtyard…Frenchie remarked the same when we were leaving.

Bangalore is cold and wet these days… but it sure is fun….

“Evulava tip vechai da…?”Frenchie asked curiously as i paid up
“noor ruba” I said….”F*** good man…Most guys keep 20 bucks” he said…which was shocking . Such low tippers…I had thot mine was low…Well, we both had to agree on one thing –
“Man we are from this industry we know what it is to be a waiter” I said….
“I saw him shaking his head and agreeing” He also had a big grin…It was a good evening

Cafe Prime Time – Thats the restaurant John runs, He told me during the evening

Dropped him home and and drove straight back…was hoping to get a call from Musicnut (more about her later) or seema. None called but there was a message from seema waiting which said – sms on this number and logon to yahoo she said. I did and i Found her after a while. There were no emails for me last evening… So i didnt have any post on myfunnyemails yesterday.

Seema came online a little while later…I was happy that I had her number. She had promised me a coffee date before Saturday…I was pretty excited expecting her to confirm it, little did i know that she was into some online MLM business and wanted to enroll me too. I refused..Boy i hate to be played. She said she would definetely get me enrolled. “Most of them come back to join sooner or later” So thats what she did… getting guys to join some crappy MLM scheme. She said she was doing well…I believe her…She could use her charm very effectively. She said shes been on it for 3 weeks and shes got 32 people enrolled by her…Thats some work she’s done i thot…Man this women knows how to use her charm. I will meet her i said to myself. But hell no, I wont join those MLM schemes before i logged off. I thot i saw her type… Call me tomorrow…Maybe…Maybe…i said before I logged off

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A Poem – Another Hoax

So that poem was a hoax after all. I did a google on…

Dr. Dennis Shields, Professor

Department of Developmental and Molecular Biology
1300 Morris Park Avenue
Bronx, New York 10


and Phew, i was taken here…  I sent an email to B telling him that the email he sent me was a hoax. Hope he realizes the folly and stopped getting hooked. I know the beauty of these hoaxes is that it grabs you -by-the-whatever. You decide on an emotional level without reasoning to forward such emails to everyone on your mailing list.  The intentions maybe good…but, I think there is more fear involved here, rather than anything else – if the email said something bad would befall you if you do not send it to 15 or more people – sometimes you just say what the heck and forward it to all. On the flip side all those who get the email calls ur name to their mind and spells a curse. In both ways man u get the dunking u deserve. There goes mebbe guys should realize this sooner than later and stop all those weird hoaxes from spreading.


 Some time back AB sent me another of these hoaxes . Sent an email to him too with the link on the email being a hoax. The Chris Mineo Hoax. Am I doing the right thing?. I wonder… For those who do not know what the picture on the right is about its a hoax email that did the rounds a while back…The email is attached below… The subject line read…Please look at the email and FORWARD


If anyone anywhere knows anything, sees anything, please contact the original screen name that sent this, which is

LOOK AT THIS PICTURE AND THEN FORWARD — PLEASE DON’T DELETE PLEASE LOOK AT PICTURE THEN FORWARD I am asking you all, begging you to please, forward this email on to anyone and everyone you know, PLEASE.  I have a 5 year old son named Christopher John Mineo Jr, nickname C.J.  I am from Brooklyn N.Y. He has been missing since May 11  I am including a picture of him. All prayers are appreciated!!

It only takes 2 seconds to forward this on, if it was your child, you would want all the help you could get.  Please.

Christopher John Mineo Sr
Stephanie M. Lawton, Office Manager
New York State Independent Living Council, Inc.
111 Washington Avenue, Suite 101
Albany, New York 12210
All prayers are appreciated!!

Neways here’s to fighting Hoax emails…cherrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Qumana Testing

In my previous blog I had mention my new find – the Qumana offline blog editor. You have read my first impression…although it is a fairly good text editor I find some areas which need some attention. Hopefully these would be rectified in their future releases.
  • The pic resizer needs to be more effective. I am unable to move the image around smoothly without affecting the alignment of the text.
  • I am unable to give new titles to the images uploaded without affecting the text alignment.
  • Would suggest the text allignment may be done the way its done while using blue voda website builder.
  • The stationery feature if introduced may be of added advantage.
    Ok i figured the part on how to align the pic and the text. But i find that the pic i loaded from Qumana does not get loaded on to the blog online. The pic however was visible in Qumana while editing.. I dunno what is wrong…Had to use IE which i am not very comfortable using… IE, takes ages to load am comfy using Opera. So, had to go online using IE and update the pic on it. Yeah it worked then!.

Above all an easy to use text editor with some very cool features – Qumana is recommended

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Easy Blogging

I found a new offline blog text editor today. Its called Qumana…seems very promising.  It has some stunning features, I must say – I am Impressed. So far so good. This is my first blog using Qumana, I haven’t tried out any of its features, which i promise I will for my future blog entries. Cheers for now.
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Early Days in Bangy

Its been a month now in bangalore…Lotsa of work to be done…Not many friends here…Those who are here are busy…very busy and do some weird shifts…Its surprising none of the guys from college choose to stay inthe hospitality trade except maybe Manoj K.M…Make a note to meet him someday soon.

Surprisingly…i know no women in Bangalore except maybe Anuja…I must improve that record…:)

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